A well-known Bognor restaurant-owner disappeared
                        early this morning.
         Last seen in a mouse-brown overcoat,
                        suitably camouflaged,
                        they saw him catch a train.

Man-in-the-street:

               "Father of three its disgusting"
               "Such a horrible thing to do"
         Harold the Barrel cut off his toes and he served them all for tea
                                                           
     "Can't go far", "He can't go far".
     "Hasn't got a leg to stand on"
     "He can't go far".

Man-on-the-spot:

     I'm standing in a doorway on the main square
                        tension is mounting
     There's a restless crowd of angry people

Man-on-the-council:

                        "More than we've ever seen.
                        - had to tighten up security"

     Over to the scene at the town hall
     The Lord Mayor's ready to speak

Lord Mayor:

     "Man of suspicion, you can't last long, the British Public
                                                 is on our side"

British Public:

     "Can't last long", "You can't last long".
     "Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
     "You can't last long".

Harold:

          If I was many miles from here,
          I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
          Instead I'm on this window ledge,
          With the whole world below
                  Up at the window
                  Look at the window...

Mr.Plod:

       "We can help you"

Plod's Chorus:

       "We can help you"

Mr. Plod:

       "We're all your friends, if you come on down
	and talk to us son"

Harold:

                You must be joking
                Take a running jump

          The crowd was getting stronger and our Harold
                      getting weaker;
          Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side
                      Fearing the very worst
                      They called his mother to the sight
              Upon the ledge beside him
              His mother made a last request.

67-yr-old Mrs Barrel:

         "Come off the ledge if your father were alive he'd be very,
                                                very, very upset.
         "Just can't jump, you just can't jump"
         "Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from
                                                the B.B.C."
         "You just can't jump"

Mr. Plod:

      "We can help you"

Plod's Chorus:

      "We can help you"

Mr. Plod:

      "We're all your friends, if you come on down
	and talk to us Harry"

Harold:

               You must be joking.
               Take a running jump......